"Fears" or "Why I Don't think I'm Cut Out for Game Design" or "Why Am I Such a Worthless Coward?" or "Why Can't I Decide on a Goddamn Post Title, FUC"

Heh...Blogger cut off my title.

Most of the time, I am reasonably confident that I chose the right path in life, the path of "Making Games Into Art, Or, Failing That, At Least Legitimized By Mainstream Culture"(tm). But every now and then, I have fears, I have doubts, I have WHO AM I KIDDING!!?!?

Every now and then? Every other second I piss my pants in terror. Every corner I turn, I find something that terrifies me about gaming, about the future of our medium. I mean, come on. Why do We have to prove ourselves to Them? We game to escape Them! Gaming IS OURS. IT'S MINE. WHY DO I HAVE TO LOSE THAT!!?!?

And at the same time, I see that we need to evolve. I don't want to play Halo for the rest of my life. I want to explore, I want gaming to evolve, but I want it to still be mine!

Why are we even looking for acceptance from Them anyway? We are Their demise! We grew up on the Internet, We are weaned on the teat of the Information Age. We are the Death of 'Mass Media'. We are the Long Tail! That's what the Internet promised!

Man, I am one whiny bitch. I mean, seriously, how did this turn into some kind of immature diatribe against 'Them'? Who is 'Them'? Who are 'We'?

So 'We' (whoever that is) game to escape 'Them'...THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 'We' define ourselves through 'Them' and thusly, 'They' still dominate us. I see...

So that is the Nature of Rebellion...hm?

Oops. I went on a tangent didn't I? Sorry, I guess. It's just that Bioshock won't work for me. I was going to talk about how Bioshock is such an awesome game, and how on an artistic level, I don't see how to beat it, but the game crashes every other second. Stupid 360.

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