2/12/09

Just real quick...

I wanna apologize for all those small little nothing posts. I'm trying to change my habits you see, and I figure the best way to do that is to take myself outside of my comfort zone.

But anyway, this post has a real point. No seriously. I just now came to a realization; The reason I love Braid.

Now, normally* I would start talking about the fucking beautiful environments, or the fucking incredible level design, or any of that shit. Basically, I'd start talking about all the shit I talked about in my Braid post.

That post is now obsolete**.

I love Braid because, LIKE Shadow of the Colossus, it is undeniably brilliant, but UNLIKE Shadow of the Colossus, it is NOT undeniably awesome.

Think about when you played SotC***. Think about the overwhelming awesome. Everything was so perfect, not even the crappy frame rate could bring you down****. You saw Wanderer put the chick on the altar, and BAM!, voice from the skies. You got your freedom, and OHSHIT!, you found a Colossus. You shanked the bitch, and FUCK!, you killed it. Each point, you lacked the words to properly describe. You couldn't put this in terms of the other games you've played*****. You were used to games where explosions were GOOD. Where killing bosses was AWESOME. WTF was up with all this feeling bad shit? Fuck these EMOTIONS. FUCK THEM...

Why can't you put this shit down?

...why wouldn't these SOB's just fucking die already? How many times you gotta shank a fuckers magical weak point before s/he gets the message?

...ARGOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

...and lastly...

WHY AREN'T MORE GAMES LIKE THIS******!?

SotC man, it was just to much. I mean, I remember playing it and thinking, Shit, this belongs in my Pantheon of Awesome Games(tm)...but where? Shit, it makes everything else look like crap coming outta monkey's head!

But Braid ain't like that, is it? It's manageable. See, SotC was all about making you feel small. It was about a BIG land, with BIG monsters, and SWEEPING vistas, and shit like that. It was COLOSSAL*******. Every time you killed one of those colossal fuckers, man, it felt like something between a miracle, hard work, and crippling sadness. Compared to them, you were just some random fucker with a magic sword, some arrows, and a horse.

Braid was more...familiar. You weren't small. You weren't puny. You were TIM! The whole fucking world bent to your whims. It was like Mario man! Not just the surface shit, about princesses and crap like that. It was the guts; the fact that the whole world really rotated around YOU. It was made for YOU. YOU were in the drivers seat. YOU had the power...or rather...TIM had that power. You controlled Tim, true, but you WERE NOT TIM. You watched him. You ordered him around. You killed him. You brought him back to life. You shared some of his trials. But you were not at all Tim. You were looking for the princess, sure, but only because that's what Tim happened to be doing when your bitch ass came along. The fucker could want a god-damn sandwich for all your sorry ass cared. As long as you got that sweet, sweet level design lovin', it was all good baby.

But SotC? You WERE Wander. You had to become that motherfucker, you had to take up his cause, just to keep on keeping on. When Wander died, you died. When he fell, you fell.

And when Wander killed, you killed.

*ie, a couple of minutes ago.
**Not really, just a little bit. How can something be little obsolete you ask? YOUR FACE, that's how.
***NOTE: If you have NOT played SotC,STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW AND GO PLAY IT. FUCK YOUR JOB. FUCK YOUR FAMILY. FUCK YOUR FRIENDS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE OF OUR GOD-DAMN MEDIUM HERE SHIT-FOR-BRAINS. If you have played SotC, good for you!
****This is one (1) of the only two (2) complaints I will listen to concerning SotC and take you seriously. See if you can guess what the other one is! It's like a game where you have to associate yourself with a vulgar, chronic-masturbating 19 year-old! Just like Xbox Live!
*****Unless you've played Another World, in which case, nice. Very nice.
******If we figure this out, ladies and gentlemen, we will be fucking golden.
*******Do you see what I did thar?

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