1/13/16

I'm unemployed and depressed

The economy is rebounding, and I am falling. I'm watching CoD streaming as I'm writing this, living in incredible luxury (warm bed, my own room) and still I gripe, for I've lost everything.

My love doesn't want to talk to me. She's left me behind, and for good reason. I can't hold a job, can't focus, and was inattentive. She's a model now, just starting her career. She doesn't need me holding her back. My family can't afford my medical marijuana, and the the only time I feel alive is when high.

I don't know where I'm going, what I'm going to do, or why I should even give a fuck.

I hate the tech industry. It's all fast-fast-fast, measure never, cut a million times, and hope that nothing crashes TO badly. I'm autistic, ADD, and have only clothes to my name. The clothes remind me of her, of our time together.

She's not impressed by my desperate rhymes.

I've discovered I'm not bad at freestyling, but not good either. I want to pursue it, but there's no money there. I feel I should go back to tech, but I hate even programming now. I can't focus on a game long enough to finish it, and I've failed at everything I've put my heart into.

Please God, save me.

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